January 1.

(Celebrating NYE in Afghanistan)

Today is a big day for me. It's the peak of my mountain and I can finally start the climb down the other side.  His return date is in 2013 and I am thankful we are finally into 2013.  Let the months pass and let the climb down this mountain be quick.

Today is the first day of a brand new year and today is our 100th day without Joe. 100 days.  Wow.  That's a lot of bedtime stories I have read, a lot of bathes I've given, a lot of dinner's without Joe and a lot of holidays spent apart.  For 99 nights I have slept alone (except for the occasional 4 yr old pitter pattering into my room and climbing into bed with me) and for 99 nights I have missed seeing him lying next to me.  I still can't see the light at the end of this tunnel but I can at least now see the tunnel.  The tunnel is in my view and with each passing day it's one day closer to seeing him. 

Every night since I can remember I have gone into my girls rooms before I go to bed to look at them, kiss them again or cover them up.  The night before Joe left was no different.  I was heading off to bed and when I walked into Emma's room I saw Joe laying with her. I wasn't expecting to see him in there and when I did it took me by surprise.  I walked out of her room and let him have his moment.  He had his arm around her and I cant even imagine what he was thinking or feeling at that moment.  It broke my heart that would be the last time he would get to hold her for a long time.  That quiet moment they had together I'm sure was priceless to him.  I know it would have been for me if I were in his shoes.  He did the same thing with Ava and I never discussed it with him because I wanted to keep the moments he spent with his daughter's to be special and to be just between them.

The last deployment he went on he bought us both a necklace that said 'God be with us together and apart.' Every time he deploys he wears it on his dog tags.  I have had my necklace on since September 23 and only take it off to shower.  It's a way, in my mind, to keep us connected while he is away. 

                                                                                               

Thank you AGAIN to my exceptional, fantastic, amazing family who have gone out of their way to help during this deployment. I will never be able to repay you... I love you all and we are incredibly thankful for you.  This day is an accomplishment for ya'll also.  100 days guys!! THANK YOU!!!






Enjoy your family~