Sometimes I feel like the worst mom. Just being honest here. There are days that the pressure to raise the perfectly, well-rounded child almost seems impossible. Being a parent you only want what is best for your child. You want them to be the best they can be, challenge themselves, love themselves for exactly the way God created them on top of training and teaching them the importance of manners, kindness, thoughtfulness, compassion, caring and showing respect to others.
Society says the child needs to be great at math, reading, comprehending, writing, spelling, penmanship, science, word problem solving, grammar, great social skills and the list can go on and on... It seems like everyone is trying to 'one up' their neighbor or 'one up' their child's friend from school. On top of making sure that they are A+ students they need to be active, enrolled in some sort of extra curricular activities and excel at them. AHHHHHHHHH!!! Deep breath. The pressure to keep my girls up with the Joneses' is too much sometimes. I didn't really start feeling the pressure until Ava was 5 years old. In kindergarten it started. Now, with Emma starting Kindergarten the pressure on her will begin.
I've come to the realization that I put pressure on my kids, more specifically Ava, because she's older. The pressure on me to create the perfect student is overwhelming. I want her (and Emma also) to excel in their school work, I want it to just come easy to them. School was hard for me. Nothing, N.O.T.H.I.N.G. came easy for me. Everything was a struggle. Everything took practice. I wouldn't have an eraser on the end of any pencils because I used them too often. I didn't want that for my daughters. I wanted "it" to come naturally to them. Math, simple. Reading, whiz through and read like a pro. Seeing things, solving problems, comprehending and memorizing math problems, piece of cake. Reading at the level they should be reading on, continuing to progress in those skills and not decline, easy peasy. I didn't want it to take work. A little work and challenge would be ok, but I just wanted those skills for the most part to just come naturally for them. Every child is different and every family is different. For our family personally its more important for us to eat dinner together every night as opposed to rushing off to after school activities. I cherish my week-nights with my family. I cherish my Saturday & Sunday mornings with my family. Every season the girls pick 1 activity to do. This year Emma picked Ballet and Ava chose gymnastics. If there is ever a time where they don't want to do anything then I wont make them. If we chose more than one per child it doesn't work for our family dynamic and that's Ok. Stop feeling like your child has to be involved in 2, 3, 4 different things all at the same time. They don't, and for us it doesn't work and I don't feel bad and you shouldn't either if your family functions in the same way.
All I know is in my opinion, my parents did it right. They didn't pressure me in any way to be something that I wasn't. They never made me feel dumb or that I was a horrible student. I wasn't a horrible student. The skills just didn't come to me but I did my best and I was always attentive in class, trying to learn and working hard. That's all I can ask of my kids, that they try their best. "As long as you do your best, God will do the rest." Spoken out of the mouth of my mom and I will pass that quote onto my girls. So, with this coming school year, I will help my daughters in any way that I can with their confidence level when it comes to school. Every child has different areas of strength and areas that need to be worked on. Taking the pressure off them to be the best reader, best speller, best math student will also in turn take the pressure off me and that's what I am looking for this year. Less pressure and more confident, happy kids. Bring on the school year!
Enjoy your family~
