Moooooo

Back when I was 9 months pregnant with Ava I was a cow.  Any mom who has experienced the last month of pregnancy knows that the 9th month just sucks (for lack of a better word). You cant sleep on your stomach, you cant wear belts, you waddle everywhere and you are just plain misrable.  I only gained a total of 16 lbs but I was still huge.  The weight hit my gut and my feet I had her in the winter time so I had to wear jeans and let me tell you maternity pants are a joke.  Yes, they give you room to breathe and they fit you for what seems like maybe an hour after you put them on but then they slowly start falling off your hips and butt.  You pull them up, walk 6 steps  they are falling off again.  Needless to say, I stopped wearing the jeans.  Back then the leggings/tunic's were not in style but boy do I wish they were.  I would have lived in leggings and tunics.  Instead, I lived in the same black pair of pants.  Going to Walmart?  Put on my black pants.  Going to church?  Black pants.  Basically if I were going out in public I was wearing the pants.  Joe loathed them.  :)  After seeing them for 5 weeks straight he had a right to hate them.  They were the only pants that fit and by that time I just didnt care.  I was getting crankier and I just wanted my baby OUT.  Get OUT of my body!!  You have baked enough. 


Joe went to every single baby Dr Appt.  He didn't miss a single one.  In the last month, when we had to go every week, I began begging the dr to take Ava early.  She was already going to be a C-Section baby because of the way she was positioned.  "Please Doctor, I'm miserable.  If my husband has to see me wear these pants one more time, I may not have a husband left.  Look at my feet.  Yeah, see those boots?  The boots that I CAN'T EVEN ZIP UP ALL THE WAY because my feet are too fat!  Please deliver this baby!"  He insisted we waited until full term and I do mean full term.


Fast forward to delivery day.  Joe dropped his beached whale off at the door, unloaded the car and went to find a parking spot.  Once we were checked in, we waited.  Finally our name was called and we started the process of getting me into my hospital gown and my IV started.  I was scheduled to have my c-section in the morning but my dr came in and said he had an emergency c-section he needed to perform.  So, I was pushed into the afternoon.  Afternoon came and right on time the nurses came into my room saying it was time for surgery.  I hugged my dad and mom and said "I'm having a baby" while tears were rolling down my cheeks.  It was safe to say by that time I was getting very nervous.  It was the fear of the unknown. 


These flood of emotions and thoughts hit me all at once. My brain wouldn't slow down.  Some of my thoughts:  Wow, I'll be a mom in just a few minutes.   Wow, I'm getting ready to be cut open.  My legs will be numb. This moment is surreal.  I am being wheeled back into the OR.  This room is cold, look at all the bright lights, where is my husband?  Oh, brrrrr that stuff they just stuck on my back was freezing. I have goosebumps and this warming blanket they gave me is not working.   The nurse is telling me to lean forward, be still and take a deep breath.  I start to cry and shake.  I WANT MY MOM!!!! WHERE IS MY HUSBAND?? What if they hit the wrong part of the spinal cord? This nurse lady is really nice, she's hugging me. Ok, I am numb and not just a little numb.  I am numb, numb.  I can not move anything from my arms down.  Sorry nurses that you have to move the beached whale onto the operating table.  Maybe I shouldn't have eaten all that frozen custard last month but man, I couldn't get enough. 


Finally, it was time to start. My doctor asked me "Can you feel this?" and I said No.  I asked again where Joe was seeing that he wasn't yet in the room.   I cant believe he just cut me open without Joe being there. Once he finally made it to the room he took my hand and I turned my head to the right and I remember focusing on a dot on the wall.  I would make faces every time I would feel the pressure on my gut.  It's hard to explain what having a baby pulled from your stomach feels like.  Joe kept asking me if I were ok and I shook my head yes and tried to take deep calming breaths.  It seemed like it took forever and focusing on the dot was not helping anymore.  One last pain that took my breath away and at 2:19pm my precious 9lb baby girl was here.  As soon as I heard her weight I wanted to tell the Dr "See, she's 9lbs!  I could have delivered her 2 weeks ago and she would have been fine"  But, I didn't.

 

 

(the first time I saw my first born child) 

                                                                            


They wheeled me back to the recovery room. No one was in there because they were all waiting to see Ava through the nursery window. A few minutes later my sister walks in and the first thing out of her mouth was "She has your big toe" Not, congratulations, you did great!  Not, she's beautiful. Nothing.   No, Jackie has to mention my child's big toe  :)


Finally after Ava's bath they brought her in and I got to hold her for the first time.  That was such a special moment and I realized at that time what I was brought to this earth to do.  I was meant to be a mom.  Now, as my sweet baby started first grade this year I can not believe how fast time has gone.  Seems like just yesterday that I was waddling in those black pants. 








Enjoy your family~